If your life sucks or needs improvement, this is the right place to be. For several thousand years, researchers and scientists tried to find the 7 secrets of improving your life and making it successful <jokes>. Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, let me tell you that the search has come to an end now. As a devoted Christian myself, I feel obliged to share these secrets with you!

1. Wake up Early!

Waking up early puts you ahead of 90% of losers, who would rather sleep than enjoying a beautiful day and create something. I recommend you to sleep 6 hours per night – 4 complete sleep cycles – and then to take a Power-Nap every 4 hours. This will make you feel focused, active and productive.

2. Take an Ice Bath!

Only sleeping 6 hours straight might make some people tired. To get active, you should jump into a cold bath. If you don’t have a bathtub shower freezingly cold for about 1-2 minutes. This will increase the blood flow in your body – your brain and organs will thank you for it.

3. Drink Water!

Water is the Elixir of life. If you want to feel good, you must get rid of all that unhealthy crap you accumulate in your body over the day. To do so, you should rinse your body with 3 Liters of water a day. This will make you and your skin shine from the inside and even better – it prolongs your life!

4. Don’t eat Red Meat!

I can’t stress the benefits of eating healthy enough. Simply avoid red meat – it’s full of pharmaceutical stuff and increases your likelihood to get cancer by 1 Trillion %. And even worse it makes you sleep sooo much longer. By sticking to healthy stuff, you feel better, you sleep less and are more productive and happy.

5. Read!

Learn how to read guys, seriously it is disturbing to know how little people read nowadays. What’s more effective in provoking new thoughts and making your arguments stronger than reading a book? Yeah, that’s right, you guessed it – NOTHING!

6. Be Culture – Aficionados!

Nothing influences the zeitgeist of society more than the cultural heritage. Take part in cultural activities – go to museums, operas, and musicals! You soul will experience an emotional catharsis, which is just as necessary as cleaning your teeth every week <I know what you are thinking, – I would never brush my teeth that often..>

7. Be Different!

If you are a boring, mundane person, DON’T BE! Be different. If you are already different but you behave normally then be you! Stick to your principles, believe in what you think and develop strong opinions on your Weltanschauung! People will admire you for it and will want to be near to you – and you’ll become a Pussy-Magnet 😉

I hope the 7 Secrets to a better life enlighten you and will shape you for the rest of your life muahahaha, Cheers!


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